Sweet, Sweet Revenge
by loony luna91
Summary: What happens when Emmet, Edward, and Jasper hurt Rosalie's most prized possesion? And better yet, what will Rosalie do to get revenge? rated T. Now completed!
1. A plan is formed

**a/n: Ok, so this is the first chapter, though it's not as long as the others will be. So read and review!**

**Disclaimer: I, unfortunately, do not own Twilight or any of its characters.**

Chapter 1 – A Plan is formed

Saturday – 2:00 p.m.

Rosalie was fuming as she ran up the stairs. Thanks to Emmet, Jasper, and Edward there was now a giant whole in her car's windshield from where a baseball flew through it. When she saw shattered and broken glass, Rosalie nearly had a heart attack, though she had played it cool when she saw how all three of them were shaking uncontrollably, waiting for me to react. I had to catch them off guard, it was the only way.

She kept running until she found the door she was looking for. The door was locked so she started banging on it repeatedly; leaving dents every time her fist hit the wood.

"Alice! Open up, I need your…assistance."

Alice giggled from behind the door.

"So I'm guessing they already broke you're windshield? Oh, and by the way, you're paying for a new door."

Alice opened the door and popped her head out, looking to either side of the hall as if checking to make sure no one else was there.

"Ok, come in."

Rosalie stomped into the room and started pacing back and forth with her eyes narrowed into thin slits.

Alice gracefully glided over to where Rosalie was pacing and sat down on the floor. She laced her fingers together and rested her chin on her hands.

Rosalie stopped pacing and turned to Alice. The girl was sitting on the floor, deep in thought, with a wicked grin spread across her face.

Rosalie smiled. "So, you have something in mind?"

Alice didn't look up, but grinned wider. "Oh, yes! I think we should go after each one individually, starting with Edward, then Jasper, and leave Emmet for last."

Rosalie marveled at her sister's twisted mind. This was going to be sweet revenge.

Saturday – 2:45 p.m.

"She's going to kill me! She's going to murder me!" Emmet cried as he looked at the car's now shattered windshield.

"Come on Emmet" Edward reasoned. "It's not that bad, right? Besides, she seemed fairly calm when she saw it." Emmet grimaced. Even Edward knew that Rosalie would never let this go. Edward turned to Jasper for help.

"No, Emmet's right. Not only is she going to kill him, she'll get us too." Jasper replied.

Edward gulped. "That's just like Rosalie. What if she does kill me? What if I never see Bella again?"

Edward started panicking. "Oh god, oh god! We're dead!" He grabbed Emmet, who was now sobbing.

"You have to do something!" Edward exclaimed. "I mean, she's your wife! Can't you just, you know, take her upstairs or something! Make this all go away!"

Emmet fell to his knees. "She'll never buy it! We're doomed!"

"Hello boys! What's going on?" Alice asked as she ran up to them. She took one look at the broken windshield and collapsed to the floor laughing.

"You guy's are so dead!"

Emmet crawled over where Alice was laughing and started shaking her shoulders.

"You have to help us! You have to save us from the wrath of Rosalie!"

Jasper growled and pulled Alice out of Emmet's grasp, dragging her behind him and out of harms way.

Alice giggled and then rubbed her chin thoughtfully.

"Well, I guess I could help you. But Rosalie will be really mad. What's in it for me?"

The boys thought for a minute. Edward snapped his fingers and jumped up. "I'll let you take Bella shopping! You can go all day, and I'll even give you my credit card for you to pay with!"

"Hmm." Alice tapped her chin and thought for minute. She grinned wide and held out her hand.

"Alright, deal, but it has to be all day and you can't call to check up on us."

Edward frowned and considered it for a minute. "Fine." He smirked and shook Alice's hand, knowing that he would just follow them to the mall anyways.

"Alright then! I'll go up to the house and talk to Rosalie to see what I can find out."

She waved goodbye to the boys and skipped out of sight, back to the house.

Back at the house –

Rosalie was sitting in the living room waiting for Alice to come back.

She heard the door open and close and rushed over to see Alice skipping into the house with a mischievous grin adorning her face.

"Did they fall for it?" Rosalie asked. It was critical to their plan that the boys trusted Alice.

Alice just winked and skipped back up to her room, calling from the stairs, "We strike tomorrow at noon!"

Rosalie smirked. "I hope Edward likes pink."

**A/N: Well, this is the first chapter. There should be around 4 and I have the story all planned out so it won't take me long to update. So, hope you liked it and review, review, review!!! This is my first fan fic so I want to know what you think about it.**


	2. Its Pink!

a/n: Yes! Chapter two is up! I feel so proud! Hope you like it!

Disclaimer: Once again, I do not own Twilight.

Chapter two – It's Pink!

Sunday – 11:50 a.m.

Alice waited impatiently beside the door to Edward's room. She tapped her foot against the floor repeatedly and once again darted her eyes towards either side of the hall, making sure that no one was coming.

About 5 minutes later Rosalie quietly opened the door from Edward's room to the hall. After silently shutting the door again she turned around to face an incredibly annoyed Alice.

"What took so long? Edward will be here any minute. He's bringing Bella to the house so he'll have to take a shower right away after 'phase one'."

"I know, I know. The bucket is set, the shampoo is placed, what else is there?"

Alice thought for a moment before jumping up and clapping her hands.

"The mirror! We forgot the mirror!"

Rosalie cursed and ran back into Edward's room.

Alice giggled as she thought about what was going to happen. Poor Edward!

Sunday – 12:00 noon

Edward had just picked up Bella from her house and was pulling into his driveway when he saw a very excited Alice jumping up and down on the porch.

"Bella!" Alice screamed as she skipped from the porch and picked Bella up with a crushing bear hug.

"Alice…_gasp_…not so tight, your cutting my air supply!"

Edward smirked and led the way to the front door.

Bella and Alice were following behind, but before they reached the porch Alice whispered into Bella's ear, "Don't go in first."

Bella looked puzzled, but she nodded anyways. She knew that the Cullens enjoyed pranking each other and she was_ not_ about to get in the middle of one.

Edward was holding the door open when Bella and Alice reached the porch.

"After you love." He said in his usual silky voice. Edward's voice once again entranced Bella, leaving her speechless.

After a moment, Bella was once again able to find her words and managed to say, "You go ahead; I have to ask Alice something."

Edward's eyes narrowed and it looked like he was about to protest, but Alice growled and Edward decided against it.

"Ok, fine, I'll meet you upstairs." Edward grudgingly pushed the door open wider and stepped inside.

He was about two feet into the entry way when a bucket fell from above the door, covering Edward from head to toe in mud and sand.

"WTF!" Edward looked as though he was about to explode.

The sight of Edward covered in brown muck was too much to bear and both Alice and Bella fell to the ground in a fit of laughter.

"I'm so sorry Edward" Alice managed to say between laughs. "I didn't know that Rosalie was going to act now. She must have changed her mind this morning." Alice tried to stifle her giggles, but found it pointless and continued to laugh hysterically.

"What was that noise?" Carlisle's voice echoed from the stairs as he made his way down to where the racket had come from.

Once he saw Edward he immediately stopped, a smile playing on his lips. He quickly composed himself and called up the stairs.

"Rosalie! Would you please come down here for a moment?"

There was a soft shuffling as Rosalie appeared and calmly walked down the stairs with a smug smile.

"Well Rose, do I even have to ask?"

She grinned and shrugged her shoulders. "I don't think that will be necessary."

"Alright then, Rose, stay away from your brother, and Edward, take a shower."

Carlisle sighed, looked back at his mud covered son once more, and shook his head and smiled as he returned to his office.

After Carlisle was out of sight Edward glared at Rosalie.

"What was that for! I wasn't even the one who broke your damn windshield!"

"You don't think I know that already! Don't worry your just phase one."

With that said she gave a wave and skipped back up the stairs.

"Edward?"

Edward turned around to face Alice.

"You really should take a shower. You look, and smell, like hell."

He growled at Alice and then turned to Bella, his eyes were pleading.

"Don't worry Edward" Bella smiled. "I'll be here when you get back."

Edward smiled ran up stairs to shower.

Bella giggled and followed Alice into the living room. She had been spending almost all her time over at the Cullen's house and she knew well enough that there must be more. The mud was hilarious, yes, but with Rosalie involved there was little hope that this was over.

"Hey, Alice. What's going on?"

Alice grinned and shook her head. "I can't tell you, Rosalie would freak."

Then Alice leaned in closer, wearing a mischievous smile. "However…if you were to accidentally over hear something…."

She lost me. I stared blankly at Alice. She rolled her eyes. "I'll tell you Bella, but if Rose asks how you know just say that I let it slip."

"Ohhh." I said as realization dawned on me.

Alice laughed and whispered the whole story in my ear.

"You're gonna do WHAT!"

_Back upstairs…_

Edward rushed upstairs and took a fast shower, trying to get every last scrap of mud out of his hair.

He had to admit, he should have seen it coming. I mean, this is Rosalie! And knowing her there was bound to more. The mud was just too simple. However, Edward was too preoccupied with going back to Bella to be properly worried.

After he dried off and changed, Edward walked back into his room.

"That's weird. What happened to my mirror?"

"Edward! Are you done yet?"

His Angel's voice called from downstairs and all previous grievances were forgotten.

He quickly ran his fingers through his hair and rushed out the door to meet his Bella.

Downstairs, Bella was sitting with Alice and watching TV. Bella sighed in exasperation as she watched the home shopping channel, on Alice's request of course. Well, not so much request as decision. She waited and waited for Edward to come back down before she called his name.

The moment she did, a door slammed and the next thing she knew Edward was coming down the stairs and walking into the living room.

The moment he walked in Bella gave high pitched squeak and Alice took one look at me and laughed so hard she fell off the couch.

Bella just stared for a moment before exclaiming "Wow."

"Alice, you were right. It is bright."

At this Alice just laughed harder.

Edward looked back and forth between the two of them. "What!? What is so funny!? What's bright!?!"

Hearing all the ruckus from Alice's laughing, Emmet, Jasper and Rosalie rushed into the living room to what all the fuss was about.

"Hey, what's…" Jasper started, but trailed off after seeing Edward.

Emmet stepped forward and looked at Edward, dumbfounded.

"Oh my god. Edward! What happened to your hair!?"

"My hair?"

"Yes your hair!" Jasper cried. "You look like freaking princess bubble yum!"

Edward stiffened. "What did you say?"

"You heard him; you look gay!" Emmet yelled.

Edward ran to the nearest bathroom to look for a mirror.

No more then 5 seconds later there came a deafening roar from the downstairs guest bathroom.

Edward looked into the mirror at his reflection. "You have got to be freaking kidding me!"

Edward ran his hand through his now bubble gum pink hair.

And it was not streaks of pink either. No, it was fully and completely pink; the kind of pink that is so bright, and so vibrant, that it makes people stop in the tracks when they see it.

After moments of just staring at his massacred hair, Edward fell to his knees. He rolled into a ball and rocked back in forth.

"Don't worry Ed, it will come out in a few months. Ha! I can't wait to hear what Mike Newton and the rest of the boys at school will think about your new style!"

Rosalie was leaning against the side of the door way. Bella and the rest of the family stood behind her. They tried to appear calm and unaffected, but Edward could tell that every one of them was concentrating very hard on stifling their laughter.

Emmet was the only one who wasn't amused. He had fear etched across his face. If Rosalie could do this to Edward, then just think what she could do to him!

Alice seemed to have the least control of her pure delight over the whole situation. Her shoulders were involuntarily shaking from the stress of trying to suppress her insistent giggles.

Edward jolted up and held his hands over his fists over his head.

"Why, Rosalie! Why! Once again, I point out, that I wasn't even the one who broke your stupid windshield! It was Emmet!"

Rosalie shrugged. "I know you guys. Emmet didn't just break my windshield without outside influence."

With that, she turned on her heal and started to walk away. Before she reached the stairs she turned around again with a wicked smile.

"Oh, and Jasper, I just can't wait for tomorrow. Can you?"

Jasper turned an even paler shade of white and promptly fainted.

Rosalie smiled in satisfaction and headed upstairs to her room, walking as though she were on a runway.

Downstairs, the rest of the family hauled the petrified Jasper's body into the living room, leaving Bella to attempt to mend Edward's shattered male pride.

**a/n: I have to admit, I finished this chapter sooner then I expected. So, if you want me to continue to update frequently, REVIEW!! YAY! Though, chapter 3 is already done, but review anyways! I love hearing what people think of my stories!**


	3. I didn't do it! I swear!

**a/n: Hey there! Chapter 3 is up and chapter 4 is on the way! And thank you to all those who reviewed, I really appreciate it! So read and enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight!**

Chapter 3 – It didn't do it! I swear!

_Friday – 6:00am_

Ever since Edward was hit by the wrath of Rosalie Cullen, things seemed to have died down at the Cullen household. This fact alone is what kept both Jasper and Emmet on edge. It was quiet. Too quite. Rosalie had to be planning something, but when and where she would strike was a complete mystery and both boys were scared out of their minds that they might be the next victim.

It was early morning and Rosalie was upstairs posing in front of her mirror and admiring her reflection.

There was a soft knock at Rosalie's door. She growled and threw a lone shoe at her door.

"Whoever it is, I'm busy, so go away!" Rosalie shouted at the door.

"Rose it's me, Alice. Let me in."

Rose immediately opened the door to let in an impatient Alice.

"Do you usually throw 500 dollar shoes at everyone who knocks?" Alice questioned as she gently picked up the red pump and cradled it in her arms.

"Just tell me why you're here Alice" Rosalie replied curtly.

Alice grimaced. "No need to be rude just because I interrupted your moment of self worshiping. Besides, I have news that will definitely please you." Alice gave a wicked smile and winked.

Rosalie was suddenly filled with excitement. "So we strike today?"

Alice nodded and placed the shoe she had been soothing back in its rightful spot.

"I'm going to go grab Bella from Edward's room now."

Rose grinned and rubbed her hands together. "Excellent! I'll be waiting for you guys at the mall. And you're sure that Jasper's going to go too?"

Alice frowned and shook her head. "Do you wish to bet against me now? Cause I can sure use an extra 50 dollar bill in my pocket."

"No, I'd rather not."

"Ok then!" And with that resolved, Alice skipped out the door and down the hall towards Edward's room.

_Friday – 6:15 a.m._

Edward and Bella were cuddled up on Edward's couch. Ever since last Sunday, Edward had taken to wearing hats and hoodies. He did this based solely on the fact that Bella could not help but giggle every time she saw his bubble gum hair. Plus, of course, there was also that everyone one who saw him thought he was either gay or severely color blind.

It wasn't much later that there was a loud knock at Edward's door.

Edward growled. "Go away!"

The knocking continued. However, it was now knocking to the melody of really bad 60's songs.

Edward grudging got up from the where he lied with Bella and opened the door.

Not needing further invitation, Alice rushed into the room and picked up Bella.

"Come on Bella! We have a pre-scheduled trip to the mall today!"

Bella's eyes widened with fear and confusion. "Pre-scheduled! You mean to say that…no, he wouldn't…" She trailed off as she looked behind Alice at a sheepish looking Edward.

"You didn't!" Edward smiled awkwardly.

"You did, didn't you!?!" Edward cringed at Bella's screams and slunk further into the corner.

"Well, it's not o say that I did it on purpose —"

"How could you!"

"I'm sorry?"

Alice rolled her eyes. "We don't have time for this. The mall opens in 15 minutes!"

Bella looked confused. "The mall opens at 6:30 in the morning?"

Edward scoffed. "For her it does."

Alice dragged Bella towards the door. "Come, come. There is no time to waste!"

Edward quickly ran in front of Alice and blocked the door. "Wait. You have to take Jasper with you."

Alice stamped her foot on the floor like a petulant child. "Why?"

Edward laughed. "Because I don't trust you alone with Bella in a mall with out someone else there, that's why."

Alice pouted her lips, but after seeing that is wasn't going to work she crossed her arms and looked at the wall. "Fine."

"Good" Edward said, quite pleased with him self.

"Don't you smile yet mister!" Bella cried from behind Alice. "I'm not done with you yet!"

Edward frowned nervously as he stepped back from the door way. Alice charged out of the room, dragging a helpless Bella behind her.

"Jasper, get in the car. We're going shopping"

A loud groan echoed from the living room, followed by an earth shaking laugh that was easily identified as belonging to Emmet.

"Don't argue! Now chop chop people! I don't want to be late.

As Alice approached the car she inwardly smiled at how well this was going.

_Friday – 6:30_

"Alice! Don't go so fast, you're going to rip my arm out!"

Bella always knew that Alice got over excited while shopping, but this was just over the top, even for Alice.

"Sorry Bella, but I just really want to go to this one store; it has the perfect clothes for you!"

Alice led Bella through the empty mall while Jasper followed close on their tails.

Once Alice found the store she was looking for, she stopped in her tracks, causing Bella to walk right into Alice.

"This is it."

Bella looked at the store name in shock. "Alice, there is no way you are getting me in there." Bella shook her head repeatedly at the Victoria's Secret window.

Alice giggled. "You just have to go in Bella." Alice winked at her and turned to Jasper.

"You can sit on the couch if you want, you don't have to follow us around the whole store" Alice said as she pointed to a plush pink couch in the front of the store.

Jasper nodded and awkwardly took a seat.

Alice led Bella to the back of the store so that Jasper couldn't overhear them.

"Ok Bella. We're not here to look for you."

Bella gave a sigh of relief and visibly relaxed.

"We're here to get Jasper. So I'm going to go around the store and start picking up everything I can find so that Jasper still thinks we're here to shop for you. Meanwhile, I need you to find the worst most embarrassing pair of underwear you can find and bring it to me."

Bella raised her eyebrows, but agreed none the less.

"Great! Let the game begin!" Alice grinned.

_Meanwhile, outside the store…_

Rosalie leaned against a window across from Victoria's Secret, dressed in a long black coat, a hat, and dark sunglasses. She had been waiting for 15 minutes, constantly searching for Alice, Jasper, and Bella.

She was almost called Alice, but stopped after she heard Bella's desperate cries echoing from across the mall.

Rosalie quickly straightened her glasses and blended into the crowd so that Jasper and Bella wouldn't recognize her.

After she was sure that all three of them were inside the store, she walked over to a bench in front of Victoria's Secret and waited for the action to begin.

_Meanwhile, also outside the store…_

Edward chuckled at his pure genius as he hid behind a potted plant outside Victoria's secret. He had followed Alice to the mall in order to watch over Bella. Plus, he had a feeling that there was another reason Alice wanted to come here today.

Edward shifted his position so that he was able to see inside the store. He looked inside and saw Jasper seated awkwardly on a pink couch while Bella and Alice talked in the back of the store.

He continued to watch as Bella nodded and then casually walked around the store, obviously looking for something in particular.

This puzzled Edward even more. What could Bella possibly need from Victoria's Secret? Edward shook his head and quickly dispelled the thought that was slowly seeping into his head.

Edward once again looked into store and found that Alice had now completely filled her arms with panties. Bella rushed over to her and handed Alice something that obviously pleased her since Alice immediately started shaking with laughter. However, due to Edward's inconvenient view, he couldn't make out what it was that Bella had handed to Alice.

Edward watched in fascination.

"And what, may I ask, are you doing here?"

Edward froze as he heard the familiar voice behind him.

_Back inside the store…_

"Bella, these are perfect!" Alice gleamed as she held the lacy, leopard print thong that Bella had handed her. amed as she held the miliar voice behind him.

Bella beamed. "I know."

Alice dropped everything she was holding and stuffed the thong in her pocket.

"Just follow my lead Bella."

Alice walked over to Jasper and pulled him up off the couch and wrapped her arms around his waist.

"Sorry you had to come with us. I know you hate having to shop with the girls."

Jasper smirked. "No problem. It's a relief to get away from Rosalie; she's starting to freak me out. But you can make it up to me later."

Alice slapped Jaspers arm. "Come on lets go."

Bella followed Alice and Jasper towards the exit and barely had time to notice Alice slip something into Jasper's jacket pocket.

Back outside…

Edward looked behind in surprise. "Rose? What are you doing here?"

"I could ask you the same thing."

"I'm making sure Alice doesn't physically or mentally hurt Bella. Why are you here?"

Rosalie smirked. "Let's just say that I'm here on business."

Edward was about to question Rosalie's answer when there was a loud beeping noise.

He spun around and saw that Jasper had set off the alarm when he walked out of the store and was now being approached by a security guard.

Rosalie giggled in delight and settled down to watch the show.

Edward shook his head and turned his attention back to the scene in front of him.

The officer was now standing in front of Jasper. "Sir, I'm going to need to search you."

"What!? That's ridiculous; I didn't do anything! The device must be faulty."

Another officer walked up behind Jasper. "Sir, put your hands over your head and let the officer search you."

Edward chuckled. He had never seen Jasper so mortified.

Rosalie just giggled softly, trying to repress her laughter.

Jasper sighed in disbelief and reluctantly held up his arms. "There is no excuse for this. I didn't take anything!"

The first officer started to search Jasper's pockets. After a moment, the officer stopped and turned to his partner. "Use the radio. I've got something."

Jasper gawked in surprise. "What? But…that's impossible!"

The officer rolled his eyes and pulled a leopard print thong from Jasper's pocket.

Upon seeing the panties that were pulled from Jasper's pocket, Edward and Rosalie burst into laughter. Bella and Alice were also shaking from laughing so hard.

The second officer shook his head in disgust and took out his radio. "Hey, we have a pervert down here on the first floor caught shoplifting from Victoria's Secret. We need backup."

"Backup!? Why do you need backup!? Look, I swear I didn't steal anything! I had no idea that those were in my pocket!"

Both officers laughed. "So they just magically appeared in you're pocket, is the right?" taunted the first officer.

Rosalie was so beside herself with amusement that she lost control and gave out a loud bark of laughter.

Edward immediately covered Rosalie's mouth, but it was too late.

Jasper spun his head around to face where Edward and Rose were hiding and let out a loud groan.

"Rosalie! You did this! You planned this from the start!"

Rosalie immediately ran from her hiding spot and out of the mall.

The first officer looked at Jasper. "Rosalie?"

Jasper frantically pointed towards the spot where Edward was crouching behind the potted plant.

The officer looked to were jasper was pointing and saw nothing.

"Ok kid, jokes over. You're coming with us."

"There is no joke! Well, there is, but I'm the victim! I'm being set up!"

"Yeah, sure. Now lets go."

Alice tried to appear worried while they took Jasper down to the mall security station, even though she was fighting hard not to start giggling.

"We'll wait for you hun!"

Jasper looked back at his wife with pleading eyes as the officers escorted him at of sight.

Once Jasper was gone Edward emerged from his hiding spot and wrapped his arms around Bella.

"So, I see you have an interesting taste in underwear."

Bella smirked and elbowed Edward in the gut.

"Hey!"

"I haven't forgiven you yet."

Edward got down on the floor and whimpered like a stray puppy.

Bella thought for a moment and came up with an idea. "Take me home now and I'll consider giving you a second chance."

Edward smiled and immediately picked Bella up and took her back to his car.

Alice rolled her eyes and decided to shop around until Jasper was freed from his current engagement.

**a/n: what do you think! It may take me a day or so to get the next chapter up, exams are soon. But if I get a lot of reviews, I may be motivated to work faster. So review, review, review!!!**

bench in front of Victoria's


	4. An unexpected twist!

**a/n: chapter 4 is up! And thanks again to all those of you who reviewed!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own twilight, so don't ask.**

Chapter 4 – An unexpected twist

_Friday 3:30 p.m._

"We have got to do something!" Jasper reasoned as he paced back in forth.

Jasper, Edward, and Emmet were all sitting in Edward's room discussing Rosalie's latest attack on Jasper.

"I agree" Edward said. "Rose has taken this too far for us not to retaliate."

Emmet bit his lip and his brow was creased in worry. He was the only one of the three that was skeptical on the plan to retaliate. This was Rosalie. They had to take each step with caution.

"The time for caution has come and gone Emmet" Edward said, answering Emmet's thoughts.

"Think about it Emmet" Jasper added. "You're the only one left. Edward has pink hair; I have a mug shot displayed in every window at the mall; what's next?"

Emmet cringed. He could only imagine what Rosalie would do to him.

"She's going to take you down Emmet." Edward stated. "We might as well fight back before she gets to you."

"What do you say Emmet? Are you in?" Jasper looked at Emmet with expecting eyes.

Emmet thought for a moment before shaking Jasper's hand.

"Ok. Let's do it!"

"Perfect." Both Jasper and Edward exchanged wicked looks. The war was on!

_Monday 7:30 a.m._

Rosalie hummed to herself as she finished combing her hair in front of the mirror.

"Rosalie!" Esme called from downstairs. "Hurry up; you're going to be late for school!"

Rosalie snorted. Late to school? That'll be the day.

She put down the comb and walked over to her glorious walk in closet and swung open the double doors. The moment she opened the doors, Rosalie gasped and threw her hands to her head.

_Downstairs…_

Edward, Jasper, and Emmet were anxiously waiting downstairs in the living room.

Esme had just called up to Rosalie to hurry up and was shaking her head as she walked over to the three extremely guilty looking boys.

"Edward, shouldn't you be leaving to go pick up Bella?"

"I am. I was about to leave right now actually" Edward replied, but made no effort to leave.

"Is that so?" Esme questioned. When Edward still made no obvious movement to leave, Esme became even more suspicious.

"Are you waiting for something Edward?"

"Well…" Edward started, but was interrupted by a deafening scream emanating from Rosalie's room.

Edward tried to hide his smile and quickly jumped up off the couch.

"Well, Bella's probably waiting for me so I should just – "

"You're not going anywhere Edward!" Esme shouted as she rushed upstairs to see what her sons had done this time.

_Upstairs…_

Rosalie screamed as loud as she could.

"Who did this!?!" Rosalie roared, seething in anger.

Esme rushed into Rosalie's closet to see what the big deal was.

"Rosalie, why are you –" Esme trailed off as she saw Rosalie's ravaged closet. "Oh my!"

The sight that lied before Esme was absolutely breath taking.

Everything in the closet was covered from head to toe in splattered paint of every color imagined. It looked as though someone had filled water guns with paint and just went to town on Rosalie's clothes. There was not a shoe in the whole room that hadn't been splattered with color.

And, to make things worse, there was a pile on the floor of dirty gym clothes and boxers that had obviously been stolen from the boy's locker room at school. It smelled as though 50 sweaty, disgusting guys had used her closet as a hamper, and the smell was not about to leave anytime soon.

But that was not all, oh no. Standing in the middle of her closet like a shrine were both front doors from her beautiful car. They looked as though they had been ripped off the car itself by the hinges and were graffitied with "tough guys have pink hair" and "Perverts of the world unite!."

Rosalie's fists were shaking and her eyes were glaring and motionless. She looked as though she had just been hit by a speeding train.

Esme sighed and shouted down the stairs. "Edward, Jasper, and Emmet Cullen you get your sorry butts up here. NOW!!!"

Downstairs all three boys cringed. Who would have thought that someone so small could be so loud?

The boys slowly filed up the stairs and into Rosalie's room.

Upon seeing their handy work in Rosalie's closet they automatically broke out in laughter.

Esme cleared her throat and all three boys tried their best to look calm and emotionless without much avail.

"Did you do this? Oh, what am I asking, of course you did this, but how?"

Jasper crossed his arms and smiled. "Easy. Edward got some super soakers from Bella's place the other day."

"But that's not the best part" Edward chimed in. "All of her clothes will now glow under black light!"

Both Edward and Jasper burst into laughter and punched each other's fists.

"You don't have to ask how we got the gym clothes though." Edward said between laughs. "I think that's pretty straight forward. By the way Rose, Mike and his buddies say 'hey!'"

Emmet was laughing so hard he might have peed in his pants if he could, but he immediately turned pale and shut up after catching Rosalie's death glare.

Rosalie smirked for a second on how she could control her husband, but immediately returned to her fury.

Esme looked back and forth between Rosalie and the boys.

"Ok, I think I'll be leaving here."

Rosalie gaped in disbelief. "What!?! That's it!"

"Well, you did have it coming Rosalie." Esme winked at the boys and walked out the room and back downstairs.

Rosalie just stared at the empty doorway.

All three boys snickered at Rosalie's astonished expression. Rose immediately turned to glare at them and the boys immediately shut up and ran out the door.

Edward turned to Jasper after they reached the bottom of the stairs. "Should we tell her about the 'save the humans, stop global warming' bumper sticker yet?"

Jasper shook his head. "Nah. Let her find that out on her own."

Rosalie couldn't believe what had just happened. She took one last look at her devastated closet and a volcano of anger erupted inside of her.

This was not over! Oh, no! This was not over until she says it is!

"Beware Emmet. This isn't finished yet!"

**a/n : yeah, I know. It's not my best, but I really wanted to get it updated so I could start on the next chapter, which I promise will be longer and better. Mwahahahaha!!! Don't forget to review people! I love to hear what you guys think! Later!**


	5. Emmet the Streaker!

**a/n: Sorry sorry sorry! I have exams this week so it took me longer than usual to update this time! Also I'm gonna be gone for the next two week or so, though I will try very hard to get in an update while I'm gone. There's gonna be either one or two more chapters to this fanfic, so just sit tight, relax, and enjoy the chapter! Oh and don't forget to review!!!**

**Disclaimer: I am not Stephenie Meyer and I never was nor will I ever be, therefore, I do not own Twilight.**

**Chapter 5 – Emmet the Streaker!**

_Saturday 11:00 a.m. _

"Oh, I can't wait, I can't wait!!!" Emmet jumped up and down like a child whiles him and the rest of the Cullen's, plus Bella, stood in line and waited for the gates to open.

Alice stared at Emmet with a disturbed expression on his face. "Whoa there, don't hurt yourself Emmet. It's just a ball game."

Edward, Emmet, Jasper, and Carlisle gawked at Alice and gasped.

"Just a ball game?" cried Edward. "JUST A BALL GAME?"

Alice leaned back from surprise at the boy's sudden reaction. "What's the big deal?"

"Male testosterone. That's what the big deal is." Rosalie rolled her eyes as though it was the most obvious answer ever. "That's the beauty of a football game. It can cause any member of the male species to lose all logical thought and action. It's what they live for."

Emmet nodded his head. "Yeah. What she said."

Jasper elbowed Carlisle. "Look! Their going to open the gate soon!"

Carlisle and the rest of the boys shook with nervous energy as the waited for the pearly, white, rusted and dirty gates to swing open.

Bella nervously looked back and forth at the four crazed men. "Should I be scared?"

"No, no." Esme smiled as she wrapped her arm around Bella and lead her farther away from the boys. "Though, you don't want to be in such close proximity with them once those gates open, for your own safety of course."

Bella gulped and leaned into Esme's embrace.

"Ready?" asked Jasper.

"Oh yeah" replied Edward as he and Emmet got into starting positions.

"Get ready to charge" Jasper instructed.

Bella frowned. "Surely Carlisle wouldn't allow such behavior right?"

Alice giggled. Esme squeezed Bella's shoulder and looked to the sky. "Well…."

Esme needn't say more; for once those gates opened there came a loud shout from the respectable doctor. "GO!!!"

All at once, as if a fire had been lit underneath them, the entire male population of the Cullen family lunged forward and charged, at human pace, towards the gates, mowing down everything and everyone that came in their path.

Bella gasped in horror and Alice cupped her hands to her mouth as though she were an announcer.

"And they're off!"

_One hour into the game…_

"Oh come on! Get a REAL referee why don't you!" Emmet yelled as his team was denied a touch down. Edward, on the other hand has ecstatic and jumped up down while screaming and whooping, for his team was now up by two touchdowns and their was a good chance that he would be leaving that stadium 300 bucks richer.

"Sit down Emmet, it's not worth it. Save it for when the enemy's mascot comes out." Carlisle advised his son.

Emmet nodded and sat down reluctantly.

Rosalie smiled to herself and decided that now was the time.

"Emmet, if you drink this soda then I will root against Edward with you."

"Hey!" Edward shouted.

Emmet whooped and grabbed the drink from Rosalie and chugged it in down in one gulp. Emmet's face contorted and cringed after bubbly, foul liquid slid down his throat.

"Tastes better going down then it does coming up!" Edward chuckled.

"Shut up and get ready for your team to get its butt kicked!"

Jasper howled. "Oh, now it's getting good! I'm placing ten dollars on Edward's team anyone else in?"

The rest of the family quickly huddled around Jasper, making their respective bets.

_30 minutes later…_

Emmet groaned. "I feel funny. My head is swirling" Emmet said slurring his words.

Carlisle scoffed. "That's impossible Emmet. You just want me to feel bad so that I'll bet on your team."

"No man, I'm serious. I'm like, seeing stars!"

Jasper looked at Emmet and narrowed his eyes. "You do look a little paler. What'd you do? Oh man! Did you eat a diseased bear again!?!"

"No! Of course not! I learned my lesson."

Rosalie smirked. "You sure did."

Suddenly the crowd went wild as Emmet's team scored a touchdown.

"Yaaaaahhhhooooooo!!!!" Emmet screeched he jumped and twirled around a few times and then immediately disappeared.

"Where did he go?" Bella asked.

"Oh no." Edward said.

"What Edward?" asked Carlisle?

"He's gonna do it."

"Do what?" jasper leaned over the rail in front of their seats for a better look.

Sure enough, Emmet was already at the side lines.

"Don't do it Emmet!" Esme warned.

"Do it! Do it!" Jasper and Edward cried in unison.

"It's not funny!" Esme was now on the verge of hysterics.

The loud speaker turned on over head and everyone listened to the booming voice echoing across the stadium.

"Well now, at the end of the third quarter we have both teams tied for…what's that…what is that man doing…no…he's not…oh my…he's…He's streaking ladies and gentlemen!!! There is a young man streaking across the field! And look at him go! My gosh, those policemen are going have to work hard to catch up to this guy! What determination! I've never seen someone make it this long! He's still going!..."

Esme buried her head in her hands in humiliation while the three remaining men whooped and cheered Emmet on.

Bella and Alice stared at the field, mortified.

Rosalie, however, smirked and put her feet up on the railing in front of her.

Alice turned to Rosalie. "What did you do?"

"Let's just say that I did my research and found a drug that will have the same affect on vampires as 10 shots of tequila would on a human."

"Huh?"

"Advil."

"Ohhh."

"So he's basically really drunk?" Bella asked as she pointed to the still running Emmet.

"Basically."

"Awesome."

"I know."

Rosalie grinned in satisfaction and turned to her three male relatives who were now dancing and chanting "Go Emmet! Go Emmet! Go, Go! Go Emmet!"

"I've never seen this side of Edward before." exclaimed Bella.

"It's a real eye opener" replied Alice as she watched her husband jump up and down like a crazed adolescent.

Back at home…

"Why did I do that!" cried Emmet.

"Don't sweat it to much Emmet. Besides, anyone who wasn't at the game will never know about this." Reasoned Jasper

"Actually" Rosalie cut in, "the game was nationally televised by ESPN. They got a great shot of you Emmet." Rosalie smirked. Of course she had known about the television crew. Why else would she choose that game to tag along on?

Alice giggled. "Plus, you'll be getting a juicy spot on the Tonight Show with David Letterman under The Top 10 Reasons Not to Drink."

Emmet squealed and then fell on the couch. "Now everyone will know that I exposed myself on national television!"

"Actually…" Edward started.

Nope, they couldn't get the censor to come up fast enough." Jasper replied.

Emmet let out an anguished scream. "Why me! Why me! Why…Wait!"

Emmet bolted up and pointed his finger.

"Rosalie!"

There was immediately a gust of wind as Rosalie bolted out of the room and to her car where she sped off into the distance, laughing her head off the whole way.


	6. Foiled!

**a/n: Yes, I know, it took me longer than expected to finish this next chapter and I feel utterly ashamed. Well, not really, but I do feel bad that it took me so long to update. And thanks to all those who reviewed! It means a lot! So read, enjoy, and review!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight…Sorry it's not very original, but I'm too tired to put much thought into it.**

**Chapter 6 – Foiled?!**

_Saturday night – after the game_

Carlisle sighed with anguish and relief as he walked down the stairs. He had been trying for several hours, without much avail, to repair Emmet's deflated self-esteem. After watching his son curl up in a ball in the corner and suck his thumb, Carlisle had decided that he had done his best and escaped with as much haste as he could possibly muster.

Once arriving in the family room, Carlisle noticed that the rest of the family, including Rosalie, was huddled around the large TV screen and watching the nightly news; presumably to watch Emmet make prime time.

Intrigued, Carlisle sauntered closer to the screen to listen to what the bored, monotone anchor had to say.

"Good evening Washington. I'm Troy McGee, your hippy dippy weatherman. Since sports announcer Chuck Heeley has yet again broken his collar bone on his treadmill, I will be reporting both the weather and sports. First I will be reporting the weather. Before I begin I would like to apologize for my faulty forecast last week, especially to the former residents of Trenton, Washington. As for the rest of you, just look out your windows, I doubt it has or will change much. Moving on, today was a thrilling day down at the football stadium as countless fans witnessed a brazen young man set the world record for streaking at a nationally televised game. All over the country, numerous Americans watched in awe at the bravery and will of this young man. We have reporter Danny Clive on location at the stadium where hundreds of fans have gathered. Danny, what all is going on other there?"

The television screen displayed a young reporter standing in front of thousands of cheering people. The young man looked flustered and was being pushed, prodded, squished, and touched by the myriad of thunderous fans.

"Well Troy, as you can see, the pandemonium here at the stadium is growing wilder by the second. Believe it or not, but the people are actually petitioning to have this young man appointed as the new stadium mascot! At this point I would say that if this continues for much longer, this foolhardy youth may very well become a public icon! This is unbelievable, I've never seen…"

The reporter was suddenly pushed back by five, screaming teenage girls who were carrying signs that read "we love you streaker!" and "Streaker, marry me." All five girls continued to scream at the camera and fan themselves with their hands like the crazed youth that they were.

At that moment, the screen returned to Troy McGee, who sat in his chair with a bewildered expression. He quickly straightened his tie and gazed back at the camera with his signature, passionate glare.

"There you have it folks. We live in a country were people show more devotion and support for a drunken streaker than they do for their own president. So goodnight Washington and stay tuned for David Letterman."

"What!" Rosalie jumped out of her seat and glared at the TV screen, almost as though she expected it to melt under the force of her eyes.

"He makes a complete and utter fool of himself on national television and they love him!"

"Calm down Rosalie." Carlisle warned.

"Calm down? Calm down!?! They should be rebuking him! Not endorsing him!"

"You do realize you're talking about your husband here, right?" Mused Edward.

"What's going on?" Emmet asked as he slowly made his way down the stairs, his eyes drooping and his posture loose and depressed.

"You've got fans; that's what's going on!" Exclaimed Jasper.

Emmet stared at his brother with disbelief until the noise of the screaming crowd on the television finally caught his attention.

"What the!"

"I'll say" Scoffed Rosalie.

"They…they…they love me!"

Emmet immediately became animated and started jumping up and down and performing a victory dance that made the girls laugh and the boys cringe, thinking to themselves about the possibility that Emmet may have been born with an extra X chromosome.

Edward shielded his eyes. "Stop Emmet! No one here wants to see you shake your hips!"

"I'm not 'shaking' my hips, I'm swaying my hips."

"Regardless Emmet, it's just not proper when there are young women in the room" Replied Jasper.

"Will you ALL just STOP!"

Everyone jerked there heads towards Rosalie.

"This was NOT how this was supposed to go!" Rosalie glared at her family and then at the television.

Acting on impulse Rosalie screamed at the top of her lungs, grasped the TV, and hurled it out the window where it flew into the trees of the woods.

As Rosalie stood and stared at the broken glass window with an angry yet satisfied, evil grin, there was a loud knock at the door.

Being the competitive family that they were, everyone raced towards the door, determined to be the one to open it before the others, while Bella sat still and bewildered on the couch.

Edward, being the fasted, wrenched open the door and after giving a victorious smirk to his siblings turned to see a tall, skinny man standing on the porch. The man, however, was not looking at Edward and the rest of the Cullens, but was instead facing the direction of the now shattered window with wide, frightened eyes and was gawking in the general route that the TV had taken on its flight into the woods.

A little on edge, Edward cleared his throat. "Hello?"

The man jumped up a bit and then flattened his suit with his hands nervously before replying.

"Yes, hello. I work for NBC. I came here to ask that… uh…Emmet Cullen? Is that right? Yes, that Emmet Cullen or 'the streaker' might appear on a talk show for Friday night."

By the end of his speech, the man's voice cracked and grew higher.

Carlisle spoke first. "I don't ––"

"Of course he'll do it" Interrupted Rosalie.

"Fabulous!" The man replied, his voice dripping with relief.

"Have him come down to the studio on Friday at 5:00 and we will go on live at 8:00."

The man stood there for a long, awkward moment before quickly nodding his head.

"Ok then. I don't want to waste any more of your time, so I'll just leave."

The man nodded again and almost ran back to his car, where he quickly got in, started the engine, and sped down the drive way before another television could be hurled at him.

"Why did you do that Rose!?" Emmet demanded.

"It was mocking me! With all the screaming and the jumping and the freaking signs! It was sickening! It was taunting me, saying, 'throw me out the window Rosalie, I dare you!'"

"No, no. Why did you tell him I would do the show!"

"You'll see."

"Oh no!" Emmet shook his head. "I'm not doing it!"

"Yes you are."

"Why?!"

Rosalie chuckled and pinched Emmet's cheek. "Because you'll regret it a lot more if you don't."

With that said, Rosalie skipped out of the room, sporting a wide, disturbing smile.

**What do you think! I admit, I did rush just a bit, but I had to update soon! So review and I'll finish the next chapter asap!**


	7. a n contest

a/n:

Ok everyone! I'm having a contest! I need people to send in suggestions for…

A name for the show that Emmet will appear on

The name of a product that you think Emmet should be on infomercials for

A color, any color.

Any well-known actress

I need these for my next chapter and whoever sends in the best suggestion will be written into my next chapter as one of the main supporting characters! So review, review, review and send in your suggestions!!!


	8. Gaining and Loosing Fame Pt 1

**a/n: Wow. Sorry it took me so long to get this chapter finished. Life has been hectic. Also, congratulations to Aang Lover for sending in the ideas which I have incorporated into this chapter. As promised, I have written Aang Lover into the chapter as "Addie". So Aang Lover, if you don't like your character in this chapter just tell me and I will continually bow and offer my sincerest regrets. Hope you like the chapter and remember to review, because reviews make me feel all warm and fuzzy inside and if you want a new chapter soon then that's a good thing!**

**Disclaimer: Must I even say it! I don't own Twilight! There! Are you happy now!**

Chapter 8: Gaining and Losing Fame Pt. 1

_Friday – 5:00pm at NBC studios_

"More blush! I want my cheeks to shine damnit!" Emmet chastised the extremely agitated hair and make-up artist that was currently trying to get Emmet ready for his appearance on "Oprah".

"Will you just stop squirming!?" cried Addie, the extremely agitated hair and make-up artist. "And give me a break. I'm not used to having men ask for Maybelline blush and foundation by M.A.C. This is all so new…and so gay" Grimaced Addie.

"Well, I want to make a good impression for Oprah. I mean, it's Oprah for crying out loud! I have been watching her program since she first started! If I have a single pimple or blemish on my face when I meet her I swear I will scream!" Emmet's voice, at this point, was on the verge of becoming a high pitched squeak.

Addie shrugged and continued to apply Emmet's make-up while she pondered how it was physically possible for Emmet to have watched Oprah since she first appeared on television.

There was a loud knock on the dressing room door which made Emmet jump and Addie smear purple eyeliner all over the left side of Emmet's face.

"Geez Emmet. Don't get too excited." Jasper chuckled as he strode into Emmet's dressing room followed by Edward.

Edward took one look at Emmet's "colorful" face and jumped back in horror.

"Holy crap! What kind of look are you going for Emmet! A drag queen!"

Addie smirked. "That's what I said."

After shooting a glare, Emmet faced his brothers with a confident expression.

"No. For your information, I'm wearing the make up that Oprah says to wear in her magazine. I wear the clothing she says to wear, I use the shampoo she say's to use, I read the books she says to read; I watch the shows she says to watch. Thanks to Oprah I am my own man."

"And we're sure he's not gay?" Jasper asked Edward.

"Well, due to the fact that he's with Rose we can assume that he's not gay. The best we've got as of now is that he's metro sexual." Edward replied.

Jasper nodded his head as he watched Emmet fuss with his hair and demand that his cheek bones be more fully accentuated.

Addie rolled her eyes and thought happy thoughts as she continued to work on Emmet's make-up.

There was a soft knock on the door and a small head poked thru the door. "They want you on set to begin rehearsal."

Emmet let out a shrink and frantically messed with his hair. "I'm not nearly finished getting ready! This is a disaster!"

At this point Addie gave up on trying to apply the blush on the constantly moving Emmet that she threw her brush to the corner and turned to Edward and Jasper.

"He's all yours. Good luck." And with that she raced out of the room and to the safety of the hallway.

After 15 minutes of pleading, yelling, begging, and forceful contact, Edward and Jasper were finally able to remove Emmet from his dressing room and get him to the set.

Once they had finally arrived on set, Emmet was guided to the backstage by two, burly looking men in black while Edward and Jasper took there seats next to the rest of the family.

Friday – 8:00pm, on-air live with Oprah

"Hello everyone and welcome to the show tonight!" Everyone in the audience stood up and cheered as Oprah walked out onto the set and took a seat on the plush purple couch.

"Tonight we have a very special guest. You may have remembered him from last Sunday's 'wild' game. So let me introduce…Emmet Cullen."

The crowd cheered as Emmet sauntered onto the set, waving to the audience as though he were royal and then took a seat on the couch next to Oprah.

"Welcome Emmet. It's good to have you on the show tonight."

"Oh no. Thank you Oprah. I'm like your biggest fan! I've watched every single one of your shows!"

"Really… I'm –"

"Really! I have your picture up in my room too!"

"Oh…well, uh, I'm very flattered, uh, now, I here that things have been going pretty well for you this past week?"

Emmet layed back on the couch and posed himself like a famous actor would when someone was praising them on all their "glorious feats".

"Yes, yes. Well, you know how it is. You know. The cameras everywhere, the constant crowds. Yeah, is been a typical week you know. Especially after my public breakup with Kiera Knightly and all, you know, the press is everywhere."

"Kiera Knightly?"

"Yeah, well, we gave it a try, but it just wasn't working out for me, you know? She was just too needy. It came to the point where I just had to say 'whoa, slow down' you know? Sweet girl, but she just wasn't right for me. I just feel bad though, she was so heart broken from loosing me and what with the press and all."

"So, you had a relationship with Kiera Knightly…in one week…"

"Yeah, but I'd rather not talk about it. I don't want to hurt her more, you know?"

"Right…" Oprah stared at Emmet as though he had grown an extra head right there on stage.

"Well," Oprah continued, "I hear you also have a deal with Oscar Mayer now? How's that going?"

"Yes. It's going great. I actually have a new commercial coming out for Oscar Mayer's new product, 'streaker dogs'."

"Really? And what are…streaker dogs?"

"Oh, they're like, original Oscar Mayer hotdogs, but the package has my face on it, so they're 3 dollars more than the regular kind. So yeah, I have high hopes for that. And the commercial is awesome, really. It has me streaking down a football field while holding a package of streaker dogs. It's totally inspiring. I mean, it totally inspired me; it's just amazing how inspiring it is."

"Yes, well, it truly does sound inspiring." Oprah replied while she slowly scooted farther away from Emmet on the couch.

"Yeah, yeah. And I've started a new foundation. It's called FFEYABTWHPF, short for Foundation for Encouraging Young Adolescent Boys to Wear Hot Pink Foundation. It's this great foundation that I have founded that encourages young adolescent boys to wear hot pink, because I think that that is a crucial problem in today's society. And I'm having a fund raiser for FFEYABTWHP next week and Jack Nicholson will be there, and Bill Murray and Chevy Chase, along with Nate and Cecile from Beauty and the Geek. So everyone should definitely come out next week to support, especially you Oprah, we'd be honored to have you there."

"Oh, well, I, uh, can't make it next week, but. I'll definitely be thinking of it." Oprah said and then quickly mouthed to her manager _what the hell is this man doing on my show!?!_

_Back in the audience:_

"What are you smiling about Rose! Emmet is making a complete mockery of himself on live television!" Cried Alice.

"Oh, you'll see." She smiled as she watched her husband ramble on and on about the all the books that He had read from Oprah's book list.

**a/n: Bum, bum, bum! Cliffy, I know, but the next chapter is pretty much done so it won't take long. Hope like the chapter and review, review, review!!!**


	9. Gaining and Loosing Fame Pt 2 Finale!

**A/n: Well ladies and gentlemen, this is the final chapter! I know, I can't believe it's over either. But if you liked this story then you should check out my new one called _Locked Out and Desperate. _I also have _My Life Turned Upside Down and Back Again_ for HP. It's an Hr/D fic, so if you're an Hr/D shipper then check it out! Once again, thanks to all those who reviewed, I really appreciate it!!!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight. However, I do own FFEYABTWHPF (Foundation for encouraging young adolescent boys to wear hot pink foundation)**

* * *

_Chapter 9: Gaining and Loosing Fame pt. 2 (Finale!)_

_Friday – 8:30pm – Live on set with Oprah_

"Ok, this is getting ridiculous!" Jasper groaned as Emmet rambled off every book on Oprah's book list that he had ever read, which happened to be all of them.

Rosalie grinned and sat comfortably in her seat.

"Seriously! How much longer is this show?" Edward whined.

"Another 30 minutes" Carlisle answered with a grimace.

_10 minutes later_

"Is he crying?" Alice asked.

Edward groaned. "Yep."

Bella looked confused. "I thought vampires couldn't cry?"

"They can't" Replied Jasper in a pained tone. "He brought an eye dropper with him on stage so he could cry when told Oprah all about how is dog died when he was eight and how it scarred him for life."

"Ha!" Edward growled. "A _fake_ dog and a _fake_ scar that is."

Bella raised her eyebrows and watched Emmet again as he sobbed, literally on Oprah's shoulder while Oprah tried to push him off.

"Wow" Bella exclaimed. "He comprised a fake story of a childhood trauma in order to cry on the shoulder of one of TV's most well known faces."

"And it's not even a good story!" Jasper complained. "He took it right out of Old Yeller!"

"So that's why he named the dog New Shouter." Alice exclaimed.

_10 more minutes later_

"Now that's not even funny." Alice stated as she watched her brother perform the Time Warp for the audience.

Edward grimaced and immediately shielded Bella's innocent eyes with his hand.

"Dear Lord." Carlisle frowned. "I honestly didn't see this coming."

"No one did doctor. No one did." Jasper replied with violated look on his face.

_5 more minutes later_

The Cullen family sighed in relief when Oprah announced that Emmet would now be answering questions from outside callers. At this, Rosalie grinned even wider and whipped out her cell phone.

"Ok guys, listen up." Rosalie ordered.

Everyone listened to Rosalie and chuckled as she explained their roles and what they would be doing.

Alice was first. She picked up the phone and dialed the indicated number, stating that her name was Stacy.

Oprah looked over at the queue cards from behind set that where provided by her crew.

"And now we have Stacy on the phone. How are you Stacy?"

"Very well thank you." Alice replied as the rest of the Cullens suppressed their laughter.

"I just wanted to say something quick. Emmet, you shouldn't be embarrassed about the other night; it could happen to any guy. It doesn't make you any less of a man."

Rosalie grinned like a mad woman as she watched her husband's face pale considerably.

"Thank you for calling Stacy." Oprah said in an awkward tone. "Ok, next caller. Who is this?"

Rosalie spoke into the phone in her hands. "This is Rachael. And Emmet, don't be embarrassed about the other night; it could happen to any guy. It doesn't make you any less of a man."

At this point Emmet was starting to catch on and was desperately searching the crowd for his family.

Oprah fidgeted in her seat, obviously becoming uncomfortable.

"Ok!" she cried. "Next caller, who are you?"

Jasper clutched the phone in his hand, which was shaking from suppressed laughter. "This is Phil. And Emmet, you shouldn't be embarrassed about the other night; it could happen to any guy. It doesn't make you any less of a man."

The crowd went wild with laughter and so did the Cullen family.

At this point Emmet was steaming and jumping up and down in his seat.

Oprah, obviously having had enough, stood up, quickly ended the show and stormed off the set to her dressing room.

Carlisle, still grinning from the day's events, turned to Rosalie and looked her in the eye.

"This is over as of now! You got your revenge and now everything goes back to normal."

Edward snorted. "Normal?"

"You know what I mean!"

Rosalie, a little disheartened that her fun had to end so soon, reluctantly agreed and followed the rest of the family as they set off to help Emmet pick up the shattered pieces of his dignity that now littered the floor all around Emmet's curled up form.

* * *

A/n: It's over! What do you think? And by the way, I got the idea for this from Johnny Carson. And the time warp is from the Rocky Horror Picture Show, for those who havn't seen it yet. Everyone review, because you know you want to!!!! Thanks to everyone again! It's been a blast!


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